Category Archives: bullshit

Bubba’s #1 fear

It is well known that Bubba has a low bullshit tolerance level. The other day, he went to his company’s belated end of year/Xmas event. A late lunch, followed by two hours of talks and presentations, followed by a cava toast at the company’s new offices. Total time devoted to this, from the moment he got into a colleagues stinky car until he finally said goodbye to his colleague when he got off the train at his home: 8 hours. Bubba would rather be working this time. Doing bug fix maintenance work maybe, or unpaid overtime, rather than be at this event. In fact, he would rather work on New Years eve, reading 4 year old technical emails and filing them into the appropriate folder, rather than attend an event like this, ever again.

When he was being served his n-th glass of wine, he felt tremendously jealous of the waiter, and wished he was doing that job, rather than being a guest, a customer, a participant. He toyed with the Hollywood idea of bashing him over the head, tying him up and wearing the uniform, to become the server rather than the served. How ironic that not so long ago he used to be one of the servers, though not so ironic that even then he knew that he would rather be doing what he was doing, rather than “enjoying” the party. The false, forced jollity, the sudden staged bursts of clapping at the bosses tables, the brown nosing and arse licking… it just isn’t his style (it’s well known that Bubba has a very low bullshit tolerance level). Neither of the two excuses that he most often hears from people who attend these events apply in his case: “there’s a free bar” (Bubba can get pissed on less than 5€), “it beats working” (Bubba: “no it doesn’t”, please see above).

He smiled to himself (luckily he’s still got himself at such an event) when he remembered this from Seinfeld: “To the average person if you have to be at a funeral you would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy”.

For the next event, he would want to resort to this old trick: once the date of the event is announced, find whatever bands are playing on the day and say that unfortunately he can’t make the event because he’s got tickets to see this, his favorite band. The problem is that these company events here in Spain seem to happen during working hours, so… maybe the only solutions are either book a holiday or invent a death in the family. Any other suggestions, please leave a comment and we’ll make sure Bubba receives it.

Τόση δημοκρατία έχουμε να δούμε από τη χούντα

Very funny article here, in Greek. The graffiti: “τόση δημοκρατία έχουμε να δούμε από τη χούντα” is written on walls in Athens.  It’s funnier in Greek, but in English it means “we haven’t seen so much democracy since the dictatorship”. I think it translates funnier in Spanish: “No hemos visto tanta democracia desde la dictadura”, with a heavy does of sarcasm.

Greece, please default, now!

The Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou has asked Greeks to support further austerity measures or the country will face a “catastrophic” default.

“The consequences of a violent bankruptcy or exit from the euro would be immediately catastrophic for households, the banks and the country’s credibility,” said Papandreou as he appealed to the opposition to support him in a confidence vote, while addressing the Greek parliament, Reuters reported.

I love that he said that. It will be catastrophic for households (which the austerity measures are anyway), for the banks (great) and the country’s credibility (…? huh?). Yes, I would vote my confidence in him to do exactly what the banks want him to do.

Hello World

Bullshit World Records

I read an interesting news item on a Greek portal today. Here‘s the article in Greek. Here’s a free-style translation:

Romania is a country with many successes in the Guinness Book of World Records in the last 23 years. According to the weekly newspaper Capital, Romania first got in the book in 1986 and since then has 30 Guinness World Records, while 1/5 of them were made in 2008.

Raymond Marshall, head of business affairs for Guiness World Records, was in Romania last week to inspect the making of the biggest paper bag in the world, by the department store Kaufland.

Some of the Guinness world records done in Romania are the biggest easter egg in the world (height 7.25 metres, diameter 4.6 metres), the heaviest cake (with whipped cream and fruit, 281 kilos), the biggest Santa Claus parade (4,000 people), the longest hotdog (392 metres), the longest brides gown in the world (1.579 metres).

Putting aside the current state of the world, with the collapse of the economy, avian flu, Sri Lanka situation, Israel, Korean nuclear tests etc., more information and details on the biggest Santa Claus parade would be welcome. Absolutely fascinating.

A day at the office

How was work today dear?

a day at the office