Love

“Love can die, but you don’t have to kill it before it does”

Krishnamuna

BSA

“Hello, Big Spiros Algorithms, how can I help you?”

Bullshit World Records

I read an interesting news item on a Greek portal today. Here’s the article in Greek. Here’s a free-style translation:

Romania is a country with many successes in the Guinness Book of World Records in the last 23 years. According to the weekly newspaper Capital, Romania first got in the book in 1986 and since then has 30 Guinness World Records, while 1/5 of them were made in 2008.

Raymond Marshall, head of business affairs for Guiness World Records, was in Romania last week to inspect the making of the biggest paper bag in the world, by the department store Kaufland.

Some of the Guinness world records done in Romania are the biggest easter egg in the world (height 7.25 metres, diameter 4.6 metres), the heaviest cake (with whipped cream and fruit, 281 kilos), the biggest Santa Claus parade (4,000 people), the longest hotdog (392 metres), the longest brides gown in the world (1.579 metres).

Putting aside the current state of the world, with the collapse of the economy, avian flu, Sri Lanka situation, Israel, Korean nuclear tests etc., more information and details on the biggest Santa Claus parade would be welcome. Absolutely fascinating.

A day at the office

How was work today dear?

Fruit of the Year

And the winner is:

the cherimoya

what Mark Twain called “the most delicious fruit known to men” and “deliciousness itself!”, according to the *free*-speech internet.

At number two we find a fruit that’s been in the top-ten list for 38 years:

the orange

end of blog.

If you’re being harassed by debt collectors

This letter is not a joke. It’s a template that can and has been used successfully (in England).

Date

Dear Sir/Madam

I refer to your letter dated the xxxxx in which you allege there is an outstanding balance of £xxx owed by me to your company.

I do not acknowledge any such debt to your company.

I ask that you no longer process my data and that you cease all further communications as is my right under Section 10, subsection (1) of the Data Protection Act 1998.

You have 7 days from receipt of this letter to state that you comply or intend to comply with my request. Should you not comply or intend to comply, you are to state your reasons as to why.

Please be aware that I will regard any further approaches other than in writing as harassment under S40 of the Administration of Justice Act 1970, and any inappropriate written contact as harassment under that Act or S1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1988.

As such you are now to cease any telephone calls to my residence or workplace. Furthermore, should it be your intention to arrange a “doorstep call”, please remember that there is only an implied license under English Common Law for certain people to visit me on my property without express permission; the postman and people asking for directions etc (Armstrong v. Sheppard and Short Ltd [1959] 2 Q.B. per Lord Evershed M.R.).

Please therefore take note that, I revoke license under English Common Law for you, or your representatives to visit me at my property and if you do so without my permission, you will then be liable to damages for a tort of trespass. You would also be conspiring in a trespass if you sent someone to visit me nevertheless.

Should you decide to ignore or continue to contact me about the alleged debt, I would ask that you provide documented proof that

a) the debt exists and

b) you are acting legally in your instruction for the alleged debt.

Failure to comply with any of the requests in this letter will result in further action being taken by me. This may include and may not solely be restricted to a complaint being made to The Office of Fair Trading and the Credit Services Association with regard to your professional conduct.

Please note that you will receive no further correspondence from me on this matter. The only communication I would now expect to receive from you would be confirmation that the matter is now closed. This matter is not going to go away and ignoring the problem could potentially make your situation worse and I therefore strongly recommend that you heed the contents of this letter.

Regards

Name

Birthday Blog

Happy Birthday Spiro’s Blog!

To celebrate, here’s another great article by one of the few good men left.

I don’t even have enough time to read it all, since I need to catch my flight to Thessaloniki. But I trust John Pilger, although he has been slightly naive with regards to the global warming scam, so you can go ahead and safely publish it.

Many happy returns.

The editor.

Sex and the Tuna or “When Bubba met Juana, part 2″

Carrie is a fish journalist in the North Sea. She writes an article, all about the sex life of Tuna and other fish. She herself is a Tuna fish. Hungry?

Bubba bumped into Juana again, this time at a Jonathan Richman concert. It was really strange the way it happened, because when he sang: “Because her beauty is raw and wild“, a inebbriated Bubba thought, “hey, this song sounds like it was written for that chick I had met… what was her name… Juana or sumtin…” and he looked to his right and there she was! Dancing away… Strange chick though. I mean, why was she covering her ears during “Vampiresa Mujer?”

The Best Fucken’ Crisis Since the 30’s

video link here, problems with embedding it for some reason.

Special Issue Ι – Άνοιξη (Spring)΄09

In this special issue of Spiro’s blog we have a very distinguished guest. At the time of writing we are unaware if the writer would like to be named or remain anonymous. In our rush to present to you the information as quickly as possible we present the original here, but be informed that we have given the text to our international desk for translation and it will appear shortly in English.

Στην Ελλάδα δεν έχει πια γυναίκες. Μόνο κάτι ασεξουαλικά όντα με βυζιά. Αλλά ούτε και άντρες έχει. Να λέμε όλη την αλήθεια. Αυτοί είναι οι παραγωγοί καταναλωτικών οικονομικών μονάδων. Κουβαλάνε κάτι σακουλάκια ανάμεσα στα πόδια και ένα σωληνάριο για εξαγωγή των περισσευούμενων υγρών. Μόνο εγώ έχω γκαύλες? Μόνο σ’ εμένα δεν αρέσουν τα διάφορα πορνό αλλά θέλω φρέσκια σάρκα? Ούτε φίλους θέλω. Μόνο συντρόφους. Για τον πόλεμο και την ειρήνη. Για την δημιουργία και την ηδονή. Αυτά τα garage που κατέβασα από το ινδερνέτι μ’ έχουν σώσει απ’ την πλήρη πνευματική κατάρρευση. Δόξα στα Peebles και στους ανώνυμους rockabilly hillbilly partabilly kai valta ekei pou xereis. Γίνομαι ανήθικος? Μπορεί. Δεν πήγα ****. Ήμουνα κλεισμένος σπίτι. Το μυαλό μου και τα άυλα παράγωγά του είναι σαν τα μακαρόνια. Τα βρασμένα. Όπου δε μπορείς να βγάλεις άκρη. Και για να μη βλέπεις το χάος, πασπαλίζεις θρυμματισμένο τυρί και μπόλικη σάλτσα. Όπου βέβαια και πάλι δεν είσαι σίγουρος για το τι περιέχει. Και τελικά για να βγεις από τον κόπο της προσπάθειας να καταλάβεις, πίνεις κρασάκι. Αθάνατο σπέρμα άγνωστου πλέον θεού. Και πάλι γκαυλώνεις! Μα που είναι η Αφροδίτη? Τι να πω? Βλέπω γυναίκες κατά τύχη ή όταν σκάω ένα κάρο λεφτά σ’ αυτά τα άθλια στέκια που λέγονται καφέ-μπαρ. Κι ακόμη προσπαθώ να βγάλω άκρη του τι μου συμβαίνει, τι θέλω – αν θέλω κάτι – γιατί η κυρία κοινωνία επιμένει πως πρέπει να θέλω κάτι, αλλιώς δεν είμαι φυσιολογικός. Κάτι πρέπει να κάνω αλλιώς θεωρούμε άπραγος – κι αυτό είναι κακό και επικίνδυνο για ολόκληρο το σύμπαν και τον κύκλο της ζωής. Γάμα τα. ακόμα δε ξέρω τίποτα. Εκτός απ’ το ότι έχω γκαύλες κι ότι ζω μια καθημερινότητα που δε μου λέει τίποτα.

Su amigo.